There is someone who I have met once in my life named Cooper Howell. I don't know him at all, we are not Facebook friends, and I have heard that he is nuts so I have no desire to be his friend. Why am I telling you about him, then? Because on the way to Chicago J-Swain read me Cooper's status and I don't think I have ever simultaneously cringed and laughed so much. Laughed because of how hilarious it is, and cringed because it is the realization of a very legitimate fear of mine. So as a result of Facebook stalking, I am posting that status on here. Enjoy.
Heaven on earth is when you can poop in the luxurious single toilet handicap bathroom in peace and tranquility. Hell on earth is when you walk out of said bathroom right into the glare of a midget in a wheelchair who berates you in a loud long monologue about actual handicapped people's rights before wheeling in, slamming the door, and yelling back through it "and it stinks!" Just loud enough for the entire quiet computer lab can hear.
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